Productive ways to move on after infidelity

  Infidelity, no one gets married so that they can get  divorced. And definitely no one expects an affair/infidelity to rock their marriage. So how do you move on if infidelity happens to you? You may feel pressure from external forces, like your family, society or even your spouse to stay in the marriage. But only you know if this is possible — for many, the broken bonds and breach of trust are irreparable when infidelity happens. Moving on from your marriage and the infidelity won't be easy, but if it's the right thing for you, it will be worth the journey. Luckily, there are many ways yo...
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Talking to your children about your divorce

Some things children need to hear from their parents: While Mum and Dad’s feelings for each other have changed, we will never stop loving you We know this will be hard for you and we are sorry You can always love both Mum and Dad What has happened between Mum and Dad is not your fault Divorce is a grown-up problem between Mum and Dad that you cannot change We will always be your Mum and Dad You will always have a family. Instead of being a family in one home, you will have a family with Dad and a family with Mum Here some tips to consider when telling your children ab...
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Managing Difficult Situations

Separation Advice
It is usually best when separated or divorced parents develop a cooperative parenting relationship. Sometimes managing difficult situation is not so easy,  situations that need special consideration include: Domestic abuse – physical, emotional or sexual abuse toward a parent Physical, emotional or sexual abuse of a child Addiction issues Parental neglect or abandonment Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP) Although it is important for children to maintain a loving relationship with both Mum and Dad, the child’s physical and emotional well-being and safety should always come f...
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CAFCASS – why they can get it all wrong

Separation Advice
CAFCASS' role is to advise the family court and as such they are the court’s experts in private family law proceedings. Given the fact that they are recognised by the court as the experts, you would expect that they always or predominantly get things right by serving the best interests of your child. However, the reality of the situation can often be very different. When you look into the reality of what goes on at court and behind the scenes, you get a different picture and that picture is not one which tends to fill you with confidence. There are several reasons why Cafcass Officers ca...
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Who should you tell when you’re over your divorce?

Separation Advice
Following a lengthy process of soul-searching and decision-making about what is most important in life, a moment of enlightenment occurs for many people post-divorce: they move on. They leave behind the vitriol and acidity of the years leading up to their divorce, and they re-learn how to live independently. They find themselves. They reinvent themselves. And for many, they find peace in their past relationships and begin to build new ones. Unfortunately, while journeying through the divorce process, many of these same people likely also leaned on family members, friends (and ...
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Post it or Delete it?

Adults spend a lot of time warning children about the dangers of posting stuff online and the fact that once it is out there it is out there for good. An obvious example is teenagers who sext intimate photos of themselves to one individual and then find them splashed all over the web, causing huge embarrassment or even worse. However adults should also look to themselves, particularly if they are involved in divorce proceedings. The Separation Advice Service relies on mutual cooperation and usually take place amicably, so most of our clients are able to communicate with their ex on sensib...
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3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships (That Aren’t Infidelity)

By Kyle Benson Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but what about emotional betrayal - it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. When partners do not choose each other day after day, trust and commitment erode away. Partners may be aware of this disloyalty to each other, but dismiss it because it’s “not as bad as an affair.” This is false. Anything that violates a committed relationship s contract of mutual trust, respect, and protection can be disastrous. Betrayals are founded on two building blocks: deception...
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Cohabiting Couples – what you should know

 The number of clients walking through the door who are cohabiting is rising. The statistic is that there are 2.3 million cohabiting couples today in the UK and that this figure is estimated to increase to 3.8 million by 2033. This would represent around one-quarter of all couples. I had a client lived with her partner of 25 years but never married. I had to advise that because her partner had ensured all of their assets were in his name, she had little prospect of walking away with anything following their separation. The myth of the common law spouse It still surprises me and my...
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IS A PAIN-FREE DIVORCE POSSIBLE?

Separation Advice
I think the short answer to this is possibly not, unless it is a short marriage without children, then it might be, but even then I am sure one person will be more upset than the other if they are in some way on the receiving end of news that they did not want to hear. Most divorces occur after several years and there are children who are bound to be confused, if not hurt and upset, by their parents’ separation.  Although, if there are problems in the marriage, the children are bound to know about it even if the parents think they do not. So if a completely pain free divorce/separati...
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How to Thrive after Divorce

If you’re done letting your divorce ruin your life, here’s how to move on. It is easy to let feelings about a divorce run one’s life. The hard part is saying “enough is enough” and letting go. When people stay entrenched in the past they can become bitter over their divorce. Having one’s divorce be their focal point can decrease life’s pleasures. Do you feel that your divorce has ruined your life? There are ways to get out of this rut. Take responsibility for your actions that led to divorce. Really think about how you contributed to the demise of your marriage. Gain clarity that you bo...
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